Being Present Moving Forward

A blog about meditation & personal growth by psychic Janet Wright

"What is he/she thinking?" How to re-center yourself within a relationship

I just did a reading with a return client, and her angels and she and I discussed some pretty interesting stuff about boundaries in relationships, and uncentering and centering thoughts. She’s a very loving person who highly values her relationships and wants to improve them when possible. In the reading we explored how she can “fence jump” and go into someone else’s energy field/mind. It’s not consciously on purpose but does happen within several key relationships she has. When she does that, she consciously thinks “What is he/she thinking?” about the other person. Sometimes this is when she is with a valued man in her life, who like many men gives less verbal cues and shows less emotion so the indicators as to how he is doing are not as obvious. Sometimes this is with females in her life who have heightened energy sensitivities, who can feel when/if she is in their space as an unwelcome intensity, who then back away, displaying less engagement and even reducing frequency of contact. Naturally this fence jumping is less respectful spiritually, and can make a sensitive person disengage even more, a non-verbal person even less communicative.

My client is used to mixing worry in with her feelings of love, which unfortunately leads to fence jumping. This is very common, and often this type of love mixed with a heavy dose of imbalancing worry is a learned habit passed down by example and shared environment from one generation to the next. I see it more often with women, though I have seen it with men whose mothers were big love/worry people.

Worry is caused by less grounding and also energy blocks with the 1st chakra at the base of the spine. The first chakra, when unblocked, generates courage, abundance, and feelings of and actual safety. When it is blocked one feels worried, jumpy, anxious, uneasy, sometimes even afraid.

Sometimes worry about what someone is thinking is also caused by a blocked 4th chakra. The fourth chakra is in the center of the chest and generates affinity, enthusiasm, self-esteem, and a positive glass-half-full, comforted feeling. When the fourth chakra is blocked one can feel lonely, betrayed or rejected. So not only is my client I just read (and many people) in a love/worry pattern which is more a 1st chakra issue, but also when people are less emotive and engaged, more withdrawn or non-verbal she feels subtle levels of loneliness and rejection- a 4th chakra issue.

So the good news is this like all other personal growth issues have simple fixes if you are dedicated to work on them over time. Here below is the homework the angels give for these issues, which you can do too! As you read through, feel free to pick and choose. Something is better than nothing, so if your motivation is low keep in mind that any little bit helps. For example my client’s motivation was probably more at a “medium” level & she does not usually meditate, so they only gave her about one-third of the homework below. Too much homework can be overwhelming. Think one step at a time.

When you are thinking “What is he/she thinking?” chances are you are not in your body and you have a very narrow and blocked grounding. To center yourself and become more present fast, you can take a deep breath, wiggle your toes, and imagine your spirit (you) coming back to your physical body. Imagine recreating your grounding. For grounding practice and basic info I have two grounding videos on youtube. I also have a 23 min grounding meditation called Grounding In-Depth which works your grounding, earth energy w/legs, and 1st chakra, found here on my site for $5 under Meditations, 11-30min. Also almost all my meditation recordings start with grounding and all are centering. You can double check the recording descriptions.

Gently redirect your thoughts
Mentally you can turn that question 180 degrees around towards yourself. Instead of “What is he/she thinking?” you can instead ask yourself “What am I feeling?” This gets you back over to your side of the fence, back out of their mind and into your space again. If you pair “What am I feeling” with some centering breathing, grounding, or stretching then it can help you discover and/or release any underlying feelings that led you to fence jumping in the first place. It could be that you feel unsatisfied in some way, possibly abandoned a little, or bored and once you realize it you can start to process and release those feelings, and think of activities or thoughts to help you to experience more adventure or enthusiasm for yourself. Often the baggage that makes you fence jump can be very old, say from childhood. In other words, the present situation triggers old baggage from long ago. Don’t be spacey and overthink it. Long and drawn out analysis is not necessary. Just get present and take some self-healing action, however small. Once we heal our inner issues more and more then having a less emotive or less verbal friend may be just fine. They can show companionship and closeness to you in their own way, and you won’t be anxiously holding your breath for them to do so.

Call back your life force/energy
If you feel you may have been fence jumping for years then there is a lot of your unique life force you may have left behind in the spaces of your loved ones. My youtube video Calling your energy back and giving cleanly gives you an easy techique you can do regularly to teach yourself to reverse your old habit. Essentially you create a gold sun and use it to call back your unique life force energy from one person or from everybody.

Clear worry/fear - 1st chakra
If the worry/love pattern is a big one for you then you can use my 1st chakra healing video on youtube which can help you to have less fear, anxiousness, jumpiness, etc. If you’ve never healed yourself with your hand chakras then you can first do my intro video to hand chakra healing. It’s simple to learn & only 4 minutes.

Heal your heart - 4th chakra
If you suspect that feelings of abandonment or loneliness are underneath this pattern, then my 4th chakra healing video on youtube is helpful. Again this does use your hands to heal so if that’s new to you start with the 4min intro video I linked immediately above. Also I have a free Self-Acceptance meditation recording that you can download which is 16minutes on my free meditation recordings page. That heals the 4th chakra too and since it’s an mp3 recording you can download it to your computer then your smartphone and take it with you anywhere.

So hope that helps! Any comments or feedback or questions please feel free to post below. You can post anonymously too.